New Years Eve - I am definitely on the mend

New Years Eve was great,

Before I go on about it, I discovered that not only has someone been reading my blog, but they even bothered to leave a comment. Thanks “ep write”, it means a lot to me.

Anyhow……………

Whitstable is the best party town ever…… it is getting a bit trendy now and there were one or two famous faces at the NYE party. It’s understandable why Whitstable is becoming so popular because of its party, arty and muso atmosphere. However, it is not so much the rich and celeb newcomers to the town that make it like this, it is the locals who have been having a ball down here for years.

The party kicked off with a kind of cabaret spoof of the “X factor” known as the “W factor” it was hilarious, with outrageously bad/good acts and generally a bloody good effort all over. I nearly wet myself with laughter a couple of times.

The band that I was playing in later worked together really well (amongst general chaos), everybody was dancing (but that was probably the booze) and a good time was had by all.

Then it was on to the first after party at S & A’s house where we danced and had a few cocktails.

Then it was a half hour walk to the next party (2.30 by now). I was with my friend T and T & P were with us, we met D on the way and tried to drag her along but where we were going was not really her thing. Still she gave us a bottle of bubbly to take with us, thanks D. We stopped and filled up with a bit of “mum and dad” swilled down with bubbly and arrived at the party at about 3:00am. Everyone was there and the DJ’s were playing some really great house music complete with some old skool classics. My mate P gave me a big line of coke on my arrival and that was me set for the night……. Only two days earlier I had been ill in bed.

Not now though, I’m making up for lost time and dancing the night away. Only when everything started to get messy (spilled drinks, people falling over and talking wobbly bollocks) was it time to leave, it was about 9:00am. T and I walked home, arm in arm, all a bit loved up and listening the birdsong as we walked down the “crab and winkle” line (look it up on Google).

I love T to bits, we are great friends and we both have real problems with lovers and relationships with partners, it’s mad because we get on so well and have so much in common that you would think that we’d be perfect for each other. We are either wise enough to know that if we were “partners” rather than friends we probably wouldn’t be that compatible OR maybe we are just to scared to try it out and spoil what we have………..

We both stayed over at C’s house, poor C, her new boyfriend D ran off in a huff on NYE leaving C wondering, a) what had happened to him, and b) what the bloody hell it was all about. Anyhow, after sleeping for most of the day, T and I stayed with C for the evening and had a really good and chilled time, we sat round the fire drank wine and ate chocolates and watched “Singing in the Rain”….. I forget how just how good Gene Kelly really was, and he was co-director. I hope C is OK, I’ll give her a call later.

I walked T round to her boyfriends house later, left her there and went home.

Yes, alone again…… I am getting a bit fed up of being on my own for 90% of my life. I haven’t had sex or even a cuddle for over 12 months now, not being one for picking up one night stands or even stealing the odd snog. It’s no good, I’ll forget what to do at this rate. I’m pretty rubbish at one-off sex, it’s all a bit fumbly, often a bit drunk and no one quite knows what to do and it’s all over a bit too soon. It takes a little while and a bit of practice with a particular partner to get good at it.

The truth is, I have never been very confident around women, they scare the shit out of me, at the same time as loving them to bits (most of my best friends are women). I have been had over big-time by women (especially my ex-wife), I don’t know if I have been unlucky or whether my lack of confidence around women makes me attracted to the wrong type, or, is my lack of confidence exploited by the wrong type……..

Whatever………. I’m 45 and I still haven’t figured it out

I met a girl at a party a couple of weeks ago, nice girl, her name was B and she was a couple of years younger than me, I was impressed that she asked me up front if I was single and available which gave me a lead in to suggest that we go out for a drink sometime. Well a couple of days later we did. The evening generally went pretty well, we talked and she made it a bit too clear that she was looking for someone without any “baggage”, as if she didn’t have any………
Well, how many people in their 40’s can say they have no baggage?....... I have three kids whom I love to bits, I have financial commitments to them, so although I have a good job, I have very little in the way of disposable income (well actually, I’m skint) and there is some emotional stuff to go with all of that, and that is how it is……..

I think that was too much baggage for B and I haven’t heard from her since.

Or maybe she just thought I was a jerk………………

Anyhow, I am rambling now……………… Time to go………