Nothing

INFP (www.globalblackswan.com)


INFP Credo: "Be guided by your heart" (and suffer the consequences)

INFP Keywords: Loyal, Shy, Helpful, Dependable, Committed, Deep, Sympathetic, Nosy, Imaginative, Resourceful, Caring, Gentle, Idealistic

The INFP has two contrary characteristics, curiosity and shyness. They love to know what's going on, feel excluded if not kept informed but do not like to be the centre of attention. The INFP always wants to be invited to the party - even though the chances are she won't show up! I show up but rarely stay long, if I do stay, it is because I’m on one of my rare benders….

There is a sensitive, caring side to the INFP which means they will be see the interconnections between people and pick up on the verbal and non-verbal cues. Sometimes, I really wish I didn’t. The INFP does not want to be constrained by rules, regulations and obligations, and dislike the routine. So true, routine makes me very uncomfortable. Others will see the INFP as totally flexible, gentle and difficult to understand I’d like to think so. The INFP likes to do things in their own way and just get on with it, uninhibited and not micromanaged. I’m terrible at delegation, as a result, I wear myself out and find it impossible to ask for help.

The INFP would not appreciate criticism or a hard task-master. Yet there is a crusading side to the INFP which would surprise even those who knew the person well. I think this is true, however, most of my crusades are deeply personal and few people know if I’m on one. I’m dangerous when I’m crusading, my area manager says I’m like a terrier because I will not let go until I’m on top. It is the only time when I pay any attention to detail. When a personal value, or belief is trodden on, then the INFP can become outspoken and turn on the transgressor. Their values are usually so well hidden that the other person may not realise, but the INFP becomes like a champion of the cause and will be expressive, animated and at times go for the jugular. Like I say, I can be very dangerous.

The INFP values most those who take the time, trouble and effort to really get to know them. Only those who are allowed through the INFP 'assault course' will get genuinely close. Ha ha… I wonder what my friends think.. To others the INFP will seem like a gentle enigma. That’s how my family describes me. The INFP will often display their reactions to their feelings, rather than their feelings, and may bottle things up which then leak out at strange moments thus adding to the 'difficult to understand' image. Hmm…. Unfortunately, this is also very like me..

An INFP does not like to be categorised. They value their autonomy, and feel 'different,' and any system, (including this one), which tries to 'define' or 'explain' them would be denigrated. The INFP would say, 'You can't put me in a box, I'm different,' indeed they would all see this. This is how I always feel, unfortunately at the moment, I feel completely disconnected from humanity and everything in the universe, so "different" as to be totally and utterly alone.

To the INFP life is a long and convoluted quest for meaning and harmony and their personal values are so important to them. This means that it is essential to the INFP that their beliefs and their actions are totally in sync at all times. An INFP is unlikely to take any action which they don’t believe in their heart is right. In 50 years, I have failed to find any meaning in anything, there is no meaning, the universe is full of patterns and none of it means anything…People talk about universal love, I don’t feel it…. Sorry…..

Sensitive, caring and empathetic INFPs are excellent in supporting roles where people have to be looked after - especially if those people are close to the INFP. Because it can take so long (if ever) to get to know the INFP others paradoxically may see them as slightly cool or aloof, as they engage best when they have allowed someone into their inner sanctum. I’m so tired of it all, come in to my inner sanctum but be prepared to get nothing from me, no light, no joy and if you are looking for something positive, you may as well go now cos it's nowhere to be found here.

Objectivity is difficult for the INFP as INFPs feel things, really FEEL them and so to step back and give an objective appraisal of a situation or a person is hard because the INFP will consider these in relation to their own values and these are very difficult to understand as they are so personal. I feel everything so much I have become numb, I see everything and have become blind, I hear everything but deafness would be better than hearing the universe screaming.

They will take things to heart and any criticism will be taken very personally and seriously, seen as a personal affront and so wound very deeply. I’m too numb to feel any wounds. Rather than take issue with the person(s) , the INFP will invariably store their feelings up and they will fester. So serious can this be that the INFP may, rather than bring the issue up later, simply drop the offending person(s) from their life-space. . I am doing this right here, right now. However, although I am disconnected from that "universal love" that people bang on about (I'm sure its well meaning, but I really don't get it), I will do my best not to reject those who seem to truly love me, but I cant trust my judgement, I have been so totally wrong about so many things. I can't feel the love, but I can see the intent through the fog of my blindness. The INFP has a tendency to idealise relationships (not just romantic ones) and so are frequently disappointed when others don’t measure up… I know that this is my problem, I can't possibly expect ANYBODY to measure up to something that I cannot feel, I am impossible to love.

The INFP inhabits the internal world of imagination and creativity and are not bound by traditions or the usual conventions. They won’t deliberately go and buck the system they will simply withdraw and do things their own way. They can live and let live except when that lifestyle impinges upon their own values and then the INFP can become rigid and unforgiving. I can live and let live, but I can no longer exist in the extroverted world.

The ideal world of the INFP is one where they can immerse themselves totally in some interesting and personally meaningful tasks and reflective activities. This is true, trouble is, nothing has meaning, so nothing is worth doing. The INFP will however be devoted to things they personally see as valuable and so can make excellent supporters of organisations and causes. Hmmm, my latest calling is to talk to total strangers who are in distress or dispair. I’m not sure why I’m doing it, but it seems like it might be more worthwhile than “enjoying myself” in the extroverted world that I no longer have any interest in. They are not naturally practical and indeed may have to force themselves to do the mundane. However if the INFP can see some clear MEANING in task, that it is part of a wider cause and the contribution can make a really difference, then they will work long and hard on all aspects because then it makes sense to them. Nothing has any meaning, its all fantasy but I'll go through the motions for the sake of my family until I die… Some may say that this view is a waste of something that we are priviledged to have, to be alive and consious is a gift to cherish... no, it doesn't mean anything to me... if it does to you, then go and live your own fantasy..

An INFP will always look at the wider ramifications and any activity, task or project must have some bigger meaning or be part of something to which they feel they can expend their emotional energies and, if this is the case, the INFP can be so productive and even sweep up the detail - provided there is a clear causal link to the bigger picture. In some organisations it is the fact that an INFP is committed to the cause that makes things tick although they prefer to remain independent of spirit and of control they can, paradoxically, be excellent company-people. The INFP has an interesting, unique take on the world, will be generally seen as reserved but their passions know no bounds if they are committed to the task/project/people/organisation. Blah, blah, fucking blah…… true, true, maybe… what's the fucking point?

INFPs have the ability to see good in almost anyone or anything. Even for the most unlovable the INFP can have (often misplaced) pity. Their extreme depth of feeling is often hidden, even from themselves, until circumstances evoke a seemingly uncharacteristic impassioned response. Of course, not all of life is rosy, and INFPs are not exempt from the same disappointments and frustrations as the rest of humanity, but their duty is to the greater good - the cause and they are intrinsically idealistic and gentle in nature. A big downfall, I’m tired of it, battered, wasted and what for?.... In the words of Lemon Jelly - "Page One".....….. Nothing

INFPs can even adopt the role of crusading ESTJ to get things done, (surprising others who’ve seen only the gentle, quiet being), but only for a short period and not without expending considerable amounts of energy. This is also very true, this is me with my organiser head on, but the energy expended being the ESTJ party organiser, ensuring that others have a better time than I has left me empty…. The others however, just move on to the next party, thanking me for the good time that they had, but totally unaware of the personal cost of me stepping into the ESTJ shoes for their benefit…… What do I get out of it?... a reputation...... in otherwords, nothing.

In a team situation, the INFP will bring a sense of conviction and what is 'the right thing to do.' Although quiet, the INFP can glue the team together and ensure that all members' views are considered and given equal weight and the INFP will actually become vocal in their support of new ideas and contributions. I am/was a facilitator, quite an annoying style of management really……

*J*