I'm feeling a bit better today

Hi Again

Christmas has been rooted for me this year, I haven't seen my family and I have been too ill to really enjoy the company of my friends. I did take up C's invitation to Christmas dinner and I must say, it was a really nice day. The food and company was fab but I laid off the drinking because I wanted to get home for the evening cos I wasn't feeling up to staying over (although the invitation was there). I saw my friends P and C on boxing day and went for a walk along the beach in seasalter, again, I didn't stay long because my illness makes me feel bad after any kind of effort. I think that I have a sinus and chest infection.

Back at work on Thursday, I feel like I'm wading through treacle all the time. I see the doctor again on Friday who at last prescribed some antibiotics for a sinus infection. I told her last week that was the problem, why won't the bloody doctor listen to me, I know myself far better than she does.

Anyway, we had a dress rehearsal for the New Years Eve bash on Friday night. I have been invited to play in the band for New Years Eve, we are cobbled together from all manner of local musos, all of which are much better musicians than I. To be honest I don't really consider myself to be a musician, I can't read music and I don't even know the notes on my bass guitar. Still I can keep time and I enjoy plauying and was quite flattered when I was invited to join the NYE band. It has caused me considerable anxiety, 20 odd songs to learn in about 4 weeks, two rehearsals and the rest done in isolation, I'm not really good enough to be able to work like that. Still, the dress rehearsal went suprisingly well and I think I might get away with it on the night.

What I really want to do is to hang loose and let my hair down, I missed another good party last night, I wasn't feeling to well and to be brutally honest my desision not to go was more rooted in not wanting to spend the evening without being able to drink, smoke or take some class A's (preferably all three at once). I didn't even stand much chance at getting laid so I decided not to go. I think that I am in danger of turning into a really sad bastard..........

I know what will happen, as soon as I'm back in party mode, party time will be over and I shall be crawling the walls for somewhere to go.

Ho hum, cest la vie...............

Hopefully, I'll be back on form on NYE and I might be up for it (well, after the band have finished playing).

I have been having a good look at some other blogs (see my links) wow, there are so many really talented, articulated and clever people out there, as usual, it has a tendancy to make me feel inadequate but I am enjoying seeing what is out there.....

Still, some good news this week, and a bit of a boost to my ever flailing ego, I have been acknowledged in a book for my contributions to both the book and the project. The book is called, "Earthships - building a zero carbon future for homes" by Mischa Hewitt and Kevin Telfer. I have put a great deal of effort into the project over the last few years (as have many others) and am happy with an acknowledgment and hope the book sells well for the project as a whole.

If you are interested in sustainable buildings and self build eco homes then check out www.lowcarbon.co.uk and have a squiz at the Earthship Brighton project.

For the moment, I am concentrating on getting better, rehearsing my bass lines for monday night and continuing to be inspired to keep writing this blog, maybe someone might read it.

Good friends, no cash

My first post worked OK, this seems easier than I thought it might be, after my many failed attempts at building a myspace page, I thought that this might be the same.

I am definitely feeling better by the day and am coming out of this fluey cold that has floored me for a few days.

I txt my friend T last night, wondering if there was anything going on because I was getting a bit stir crazy. I ended up with an invite to a dinner party which was good. I didn’t know it was a dinner party till I got there and my first reaction was “I can’t deal with all these people”. I haven’t been the life and soul of the party lately (not sure if I can be described as that usually, if I’m honest) but it was OK, I was amongst friends.

These people do actually seem to care about me which is a relief………….

C was there and has invited me over to Christmas dinner, it’s really kind of her and am quite looking forward to it. That brings up a dilemma in my fuddled head, I’m not allowed to enjoy Christmas because I should be with my Children. If I’m not with my Children, then I’m not allowed to enjoy myself at all………….. I know, weird logic but that is how I feel every Christmas.

This year is worse that ever, I’m not able to see my children at all, I can’t afford to. I’m a professional man with a good job and I can’t afford to see my kids at Christmas….. how can that be? It’s a good question and one that is difficult to answer but the Child Support Agency has a lot to do with it after putting up my maintenance payments by 285% this year. Basically, I’m skint and no longer have any disposable income. I’ve done the math over and over again, bloody hell, this country is so expensive to live in. At least I don’t have much debt (well, apart from a £10K student loan which is still outstanding).

I dunno, I love living in the UK, it’s a very free and clean country but that freedom comes at such a price, I’m seriously beginning to doubt that it’s worth it. I don’t know whether it is my wages that are too little, or that my taxes that are too much. Whatever, the end result is the same, I’m working really hard, carry a lot of responsibility and I am wondering how I’m going to feed myself for the next month, that can’t be right. I work for an NGO, I can see how much money gets wasted, I know how inefficient our local authorities are and I don’t think that my £60 month council tax is good value for money.

Oh, I’m bleating on about money (or the lack of it now) boring…………

Still, I can feel it affecting my work, which isn’t good. I can be sitting round a table in a meeting with some of the senior managers of the local water company, who are all on at least £60K plus, discussing environmental needs and justifying why, and where, the water company needs to spend £Xmillion during the next periodic review, and in the back of my mind I’m planning to max out on the lunchtime buffet so I can skip food later so that I can afford a pint with my mate in the evening !!!!!

I am very much at the head of some extremely high profile issues around the “growth areas of the South East” It is a lot of responsibility, I live in a 1 bed flat and haven’t got two ha’pennys to rub together.

That’s it, I’m getting really boring now, sorry.

Anyhow, I still have some stuff to learn about this blogging business, like uploading photos etc. I see that some blogs have videos and all sorts, not that I’m planning to go very far down that line, I just want somewhere to sound off. I promise that it won’t always be about me whinging about money (or the lack of it).

First Post

Well, my first post...........

Er.. Hi everybody,

Out of the blue, I have decided to put all that stuff, going round and round inside my head into print. My stepfather has been encouraging me to write a book about my life for years, he thinks that my life has been interesting and unusual but really I am very ordinary and I don't think anyone would be interested in reading my life story.

Today is the first day I have ventured out for a few days, I have been really ill, usual asthma related stuff, I get a cold, I get a chest infection, my ashma gets bad blah blah blah........ you can call it man flu if you like but it hasn't been much fun for the last few days.

Anyhow, after only an hour of shopping amongst the busy Christmas shoppers in Herne Bay, I'd had enough and was feeling a bit dizzy. Ho Hum, roll on Christmas, hopefully I'll be well on the mend by then.

I'm not going to write much more today because this is my first blog and I have no idea how it is going to look, whether anyone will read it, or what. There is a little box down here that says "labels for this post" don't really know how to use it so I have a lot to catch up on.